


To Live in Hearts

by orphan_account



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: All mistakes are my own, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, wild mother be up in here, you need the sads sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:08:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24266395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's a eulogy of sorts.To live in heartswe leave behindis not to die.Thomas Campbell
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to _Run boy Run_ and _I love You_ and was struck by a sudden need to write this fic. This is not proofread, all mistakes are my own.

Of the Mighty Nein Fjord was the first to join the arms of the Wild Mother. This didn’t surprise the others; he had a penchant for touching things he shouldn’t a teary eyed Veth remarked. They also weren’t shocked to find that he died standing. He lived and died up to his name Fjord Stone. Unmoving in principle and compassion.

They didn’t bury him. It didn’t seem right for a man who loved the ocean despite all it had done to him.

Yasha carried his body, swaddled in his now more worn cape, hiding the wounds they did their best to dress. Face peaceful as they laid him on the beaches of Nicodranis. Away from prying eyes, in one of the more secluded areas of the port. It was beautiful. The sun setting coloring the waters with pinks, oranges, and flashes of green. 

Jester hadn’t stopped crying since it happened. Weeping openly, body shuddering with it. Caleb stood stoically beside her, an arm wrapped around her shoulder, his body running with small tremors of his own heartache. Veth held his hand, her other clutched a sunflower.

Beau stood stone faced watching Yasha gently, oh so gently, place his body on the sand. From her diary Yasha flipped through the pages, one page to the next, back to the other. Contemplating. Until she landed on a very small dried blue flower, the center of it dotted with white, the edges of the petals a lighter blue that gently darkened into an almost navy center. She pulled it out of its holding place. Clasped it and said a small prayer before taking it, softly between two fingers; reached down, lifted Fjord’s stiff hands and placed the flower underneath them and placed his hands across his abdomen. 

Caduceus stood on the other side of Yasha watching her reverent gentleness that belied a promised fury against those that did this. A boiling, silent rage emanated from her that Caduceus echoed in his own way. But today, for today it would wait. 

His Brother, Gifted and guided to him by the Wild Mother, needed him. And now to oversee that his Brother by more than blood would go home one final time. He looked back up to Beau and waited.

Caleb stepped forward. He knew Beau would need more time; Veth lagging only a step behind their hands held tight together. He Fell to his knees beside Fjord’s head. There was a moment where he didn’t move and just watched Fjord. He leaned down, hair falling forward to obscure the gentle press of his lips against Fjord’s cold forehead. “You are a good man, Fjord. And I will miss you. _Auf Wiedersehen_. ” He stood and took one step back as Veth pulled to the front.

“I hope Button Beard’s Button factory is hiring when you get there.” Veth said her voice cracking with a sob. The sunflower she tucked into Fjord’s crossed arms and made sure to be mindful of Yasha’s own gift. Before stepping away she paused and reached up to her necklace of buttons and pulled the biggest, shiniest, green one she could find and tucked it next to her flower. “A little bribe.” she said, patting it fondly. Then she stepped away pulling Caleb with her. Not too far though. They were all going to stay.

Finally, Jester rushed to Fjord and cried letting her tears fall onto his face. Her sorrow hadn’t softened any but she quelled it for a moment and pulled out her sketchbook and her special ink. In a few deft talented strokes a shimmering metallic token popped into existence. 

A symbol of the Wild Mother’s usual motif of a wreath faded into two hands holding onto another pair that protruded from what looked like a billowing cloak. In the center of the clasped hands was a small cupcake. The sprinkles, if one looked close enough, could swear they looked like teeny tiny dicks. A warm breeze wafted through her hair like a fond caress. The newly made token joined the flowers and button.

They all turned to Beau, waiting expectantly. She had her arms crossed tightly against herself. There was a steady, pulsing vein on her forehead. “You know Fjord, you’re a fucking hypocrite.” The burst made them all jump slightly. She turned to face the setting sun, “Real fucking--you couldn’t wait like two shitty minutes for me to get there!”

She threw her hands into the air and pivoted back towards the man in question, “Had to go all _I’ll be okay_ well what a load of fucking bull shit. I should have--”, she stopped, jaw clenched so hard that they could hear her teeth grind. “When I kick the bucket I’m going to find you and kick your ass. Don’t forget I can punch ghosts!” Another lull of silence fell as they waited, long since learning that to get Beau to talk all they had to do was wait. 

“You’re...you’re still my Captain. Ball-Eater or no.” She stalked closer to the lapping waves scrubbing at her face. 

Finally, Caduceus Clay knelt down to Fjord Stone. Once an orphan and a member of a group of misfits that called themselves family. A messy patchwork of different ilk and breed but that’s what made nature beautiful. The memories that could, and were, made. The beauty in the mess. 

Caduceus closed his eyes and cradled Fjord’s face tenderly. Magic flowed through his hands, warm and buzzing like a thousand bees were singing. Fjord’s body began to sprout up with a vibrant garden of flowers of all shapes and sizes. Delicate petals of purple mingled with gold tints of unnamed plants bloomed. A rainbow of a garden grazed the beach in an amazing burst. 

A small island of flowers was all that was left of Fjord’s body. The smell of fresh rain filled the air as a gentle wind picked up around the group and pulled at the flowers. It guided the flowers up, up and towards the ocean. One last strong gust of wind guided the rest of the petals towards the sliver of sun that coated the beach in a deep purple with hints of pink.

Where once Fjord's body laid, only the emblem of the Wild Mother Caduceus had given him all those years ago remained. The silver was duller, the details of the seaweed near fading with new dents in it. The blue glass stone had a number of chips in it. He picked it up and held it to his chest.

They all watched the last rays of sun dip beneath the ocean. Standing vigil to make sure Fjord ended his final journey with his family.


	2. Just Know You've Done Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beau's last stand.

Let it be known that Beauregard Lionett was a woman of renown. 

A dervish whirlwind of fury, fists, and blunt wit.

There were only second hand accounts on her final moments. Mixed reports about what they saw or heard or felt. But they all agreed it was sight to behold. Every person interviewed had a stammer like they still couldn't quite believe what they saw. Dairon didn't need to be urged to believe. She'd recognize Beauregard's particular brand of work anywhere. The small pang of hurt caught her in the side with a huff. It was awhile since she felt any version of regret.

People died everyday. Some slow with age. Some violently. Some alone. Or a combination of all. It was not a promise but a guarantee with Expositors; anyone that took to investigating those that believed themselves too untouchable. 

"Expositor Dairon," whispered another one of her companions, "would you like me to send a message to Beauregard's family?"

She thought about it. The silence dragging long but not uncomfortably. "Send one to the Lionett's. The other---I shall pass personally." The figure stepped soundlessly into the long hallways of the Reserve. For a moment longer she stood meditating on the journal she held. Beauregard's last findings scrawled messily but legibly. It wouldn't turn the tide, no, it was long past that, all they could hope to do was mitigate the damage. 

* * *

_This is Expositor Dairon. Beauregard has fallen. Please, if you can, come to the temple._

The initial reaction was to be expected from the Mighty Nein. Wore their hearts on their sleeves, a couple wore them proudly and loudly. Dairon took the brunt of their angry grief. Dairon could do this for them. For Beauregard. 

* * *

There was no body this time. It was impossible to retrieve, they were told. It was behind enemy lines. If the war died down they would go back to look for the body but for now they were left with a neatly folded blue sash. The sash wasn't washed still holding the grime and dirt. A thick splotch of old blood stained most of it. Placed delicately in the center was Beau's goggle. 

Caleb understood the cost of war. To willingly dedicate oneself in service to a purpose or an institution. And Beau never lacked any dedication, if anything, she had too much of it. But she wouldn't be who she was if she lacked that stubborn bullheadedness. He grabbed her goggles and walked off to the side so that he wasn't in the way. He pulled out his small stone of amber and began to cast _Vault of Amber_ on the item. It disappeared with a warm flash of honey-golden and in its place was the piece of amber. It was selfish but Caleb wanted to keep it for himself. A constant reminder of a promise made long ago. 

Veth and Jester were hugging each other. The tears in silent display as they both made their way reverently to a--a paltry replacement for Beau. Jester was the first to sink to her knees while Veth stood. 

Jester reached out a hand glowing with the usual deep-green as the sash began to stitch back together. Grime, dust, and blood flaking away until all that was left was the sash as if it was never worn. "Beau," the words caught behind a hand, "who's gonna do pranks with me now?"

"I get sad too," she let herself a small, watery smile that crumpled quickly, "why'd you..well, I get why you did it but why couldn't you wait? Now, I have to miss two people. And--and that's _two_ much." Veth beside her chuffed both knowing Beau would have enjoyed it while elbowing Fjord who in turn would roll his eyes.

She grasped at the Traveler's symbol and pressed her lips to it. "I'll make sure the Traveler puts in a good word for you." She promised. 

Veth watched Jester's prayer and turned back to the sash. Her eyes blurred not seeing the sash but the person it once belonged to. The visage of Beau, an arrogant grin cut across her face, making lewd hand movements toward Veth and her husband. They were both very drunk at the bar after Fjord's death. She remembered the slurred comment after with fondness but at the time she almost felt scandalized. "You," Beau hiccuped, "and him," pointed at Veth, "need to make a _lot_ more babies. Babies, plural. Gotta leave a--a legacy behind. People to remember you. Cuz, you..you're great people."

The memory faded back into reality and she was left staring at the stupid sash. She plucked another button, this time from her wrists. A blue one this time with a nice filigree of silver on the edges. "I'll make sure to name one after you," she placed the button down on the sash, "even if they'll have a hard time spelling their own name for a while."

Yasha stepped to the sash already holding a flower. A pink blossom of some unnamed wild flower variety. It was appropriate. For someone like Beau. It joined the button. "I'll miss you." She left, leaving her found family to mourn in her stead. She needed to find the body. 

As what was becoming a pattern Caduceus went last. He mulled over his words, the last parting still fresh in all their minds. So, soon to have another taken from them would have keeled anyone else. Death was something he was familiar with along with grief. They always came hand in hand. But familiarity didn't mean he wasn't unaffected by the waves of grief. 

"It was an honor to watch over you. To witness your discovery of your own greatness." He stopped to steady himself, "If fate finds itself in a giving mood I would love to have you're final home be at the Blooming Grove." He bowed his head, let his shoulders drop and, for just a moment, mourn his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why not make it into a series. Going to give myself a challenge to see if I can write one for each.  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> (unbeata'd free flow writing)


End file.
